End of Year Reflection

As an AP writer coming into a year of 11 AP English I started at an inadequate skill level. The summer reading essay I wrote in the beginning of the year exemplifies that it many different ways, such as too much summarizing, unclear purpose and reasoning, and lack of depth. My early writing also included more specific errors, like use of first-person, lack of transitions, and comma errors.

     "As a result of these complications, Hillenbrand(author) wrote Unbroken in hopes of inspiring the audience and herself to overcome obstacles. In addition to inspiration, Hillenbrand writes in order to teach modern society the hardships of war through a passionate tone and concise structure."

     To begin, this excerpt is only the thesis. Clearly, I failed to not only hone in on one central idea, but I also created a too verbose thesis leaving the author as unsure of what the main argument of the paper was. Another simple mistake I made was using the wrong tense. On top of these mistakes, it has also been common for me to go off topic in the middle of my writing, like when I said:

     "Hillenbrand displays her passion by taking the time to know what Louie was doing on a mental level."

     Given my thesis, Hillenbrand's passion and attention to detail doesn't in anyway inspire the audience to overcome any obstacles, as well as teach society about the hardships of war. Overall, my early writing in 11 AP English lacked focus and clarity.

     However, throughout 11 AP English I have learned to control and master my thoughts in order to create an effective argument. As seen in the thesis below I have grown quite a lot in writing.

     "Overall, luxuries not only waste goods causing ecological damage, but they also drive people into an obsession of aspiration for these things."

     The main argument that I am arguing is very clear, as well as the reasons why: Luxuries are bad because they hurt the environment and cause an obsession of material things. Compared to my earlier thesis, this is a big step up. Furthermore, in one of my body paragraphs I convey this argument in a logical and clear way.

     "To begin, luxuries have a large negative impact on the environment. The abundance of goods presented in modern society drive people to buy unnecessary items, and with the production of any good comes packaging. This creates most of the garbage itself. Things like "cans, bottles...whole bags of garbage " can be seen littered across rivers all throughout the U.S (Source D). On top of that, nature houses "thousands of...worthless automobiles, refrigerators, stoves", which further the damage done by excessive spending(Source D). Ultimately, through the ecological damage and past misconduct of disposal, luxuries are rendered as a hindrance to mankind."

     In the first sentence of this body paragraph I clearly state what piece of my thesis I am arguing creating an effective claim. After that, I start to reason why luxuries are bad. This can be clearly backed up when I reason that luxuries either produce waste with their packaging or by failing to be disposed across nature. My clarity is not only based off of my claims, but also my evidence. Since, I use my source to drive my argument, I create a logical argument that is clear to the audience. Lastly, I include an effective concluding statement that sums up everything in the paragraph, as well as revisiting how the paragraph supports the thesis.

     Where I am now as an AP writer is clearly shown through the difference in the two paragraphs and thesis'. Overall, the hardest thing I had to overcome was being able to construct a logical argument with clarity. Prior to this year, I felt that I didn't really know exactly what I was writing or where this idea was going. The way I overcame this problem was by organizing my thoughts effectively. By understanding the prompt and taking the time to think about in what order should my paragraphs be written, I have solved my previous dilemma.

    What I have learned this year in 11 AP English is the importance of hard work. Originally, English has always been challenging, but after overcoming my main problem of bad idea organization I have become a significantly better writer. The aspect that I am most proud in is being able to write an effective full-length essay in 40-60 min. on the spot. My plans for future improvement include 12 AP English and English courses in college, as well as help from instructors if I need help overcoming obstacles. The aspects I want to improve on in the future lie in more detailed writing, such as diction and sentence structure. Ultimately, this year in 11 AP English has been both very helpful to my writing capabilities as an individual, and a super fun class.